We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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