I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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