Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I am mentally ready for anal.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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