Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i out mim tonsoeep
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