I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
