i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
