Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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