you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
