Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize