Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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