These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
