jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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