don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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