The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
