The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
