I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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