okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize