So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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