Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
