Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
