Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
