his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
