Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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