I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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