3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
