I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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