I've blown a few things in my day
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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