Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
