You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
