He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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