Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize