This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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