everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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