woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize