I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
