I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
