This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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