I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
