I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
