i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
