the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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