Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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