It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
