We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
