Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
