Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
