cat food counts as protein by the way
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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