No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
