Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
