is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
