Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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