why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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