she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
