Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
