Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
