are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
did i just pee glitter
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
