I am puke
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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