I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
