Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Randomize
