Old men and throwing up are my life now.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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