I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Houston, we have a squirter
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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