It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
