Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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