Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
