Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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