So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
