He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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