This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
