Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
